#Blog about stop compromising

[scenikeight]

The fact I still see people share that horrible review of 3+1 around from day 1, that gave birth to the conspiracy theory that Mari is supposed to be Moyoco Anno, is beyond absurd - I don't know if the Eva fandom here on Tumblr lives in a hole, but Anno has gone out of his way to confirm this theory isn't true, something he very very rarely does, entirely because the worst of this shithole fandom wouldn't stop using it as an excuse to abuse people who worked on the film and their family members. Continuing to pedal this misinfo in the face of explicit shutdown from the people behind the film is giving ammunition to the people who think it's okay to threaten the lives of others who worked on something that made them feel "cucked". It's not okay to pretend this isn't a serious problem - the second this shit enters the realm of actual harm it's no longer a matter to be taken lightly. Khara have deemed the behaviour serious enough to threaten legal a action over it, and good on them! It's horrific we've ended up in this situation in the first place, but we've all seen how serious it got first hand, and they do not have to sit by quietly and allow the abuse to continue.

I don't care how much you hate the movie or the ending or whatever the fuck, there's no excuse to continue doing this.

[ratbefriender]

I love my friends but I think the level of validation and interaction that I need sometimes can only be attained by becoming more insane and talking to myself more. in fact it is exactly because I love my friends that I must not expose them to rambles only I should hear... god bless.

[ordinaryspidey-a-a]

How would you all feel if I test-mused Howard Stark on this blog?

[sugawarassoulmate]

we've been doin' all this late night talkin'

you flounder in the living room for a second, taking a glance at how the storm doesn’t seem to be letting up at all. akaashi notices this, and the time. it’s past midnight and he’s certain the trains aren’t running anymore. he can’t let a young girl like you venture out into the night all by herself, but a drive back to your place in this weather isn’t ideal and he can’t leave his daughter alone.

“i should probably—”

“just spend the night,” akaashi interrupts. he knows you at this point, you’re much too nice to ask for a cab ride home and you’d probably rather trek through the rain than ever be a bother to anyone. “don’t argue with me on this one, i’m not letting you go out in this storm.” that’s all it takes to shut you up, nodding without another word. you’re such a good girl for always listening to him.

paring: dilf!akaashi x babysitter!reader

words: 2.9k

cw: fem!reader, age gap (reader is in their 20s/Akaashi in his 40s), alcohol, dubious consent, slight manipulation, fingering, unprotected sex, breeding kink, pregnancy mention, minors dni

disclaimer: on this blog, we discuss and explore toxic relationships/situations/just because i write about these themes does not mean i condone/support these types of relationships nor do i do them in my own personal life.

these are fictional characters in fictional scenarios and nobody should be taking real-life advice or mirror the actions of the characters in these stories!

He laughed after hearing the small noise you made when he opened the door, entering the dimmed living room. You were curled up on the couch, a movie playing quietly on the TV. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, shaking the rain from his umbrella as he removes his shoes.

As always, you were quick to apologize, a trait Akaashi always found charming. “Oh, not it’s fine. I probably shouldn’t have been watching scary movies so late at night,” you mumbled, sitting up to put the film on pause. “Kisa knocked out hours ago, by the way. I managed to convince her to remove the facepaint but she insisted on sleeping in her costume so you’ll have a witch in her bed tomorrow morning.”

Akaashi wasn’t surprised. Even at five years old, Kisa was incredibly stubborn, getting into debates (Akaashi didn’t like to call them arguments) with her father over every little thing—not wanting to eat her broccoli or refusing to wear the new sweater Akaashi bought. You, on the other hand, were the Kisa Whisperer, able to get her to compromise and not act so hot-headed.

It was a blessing when you answered his ad for a babysitter. With his job taking so much of his time, and the messy divorce with his soon-to-be-ex, having the extra help means the world to him.

It also doesn’t hurt that you were so pretty. A sweet, obedient college student with such good manners. It took Akaashi weeks to get you to stop calling him “sir,” despite how much he loved how the word came out of your soft lips. “Just call me Keiji, you don’t have to be so formal with me, sweetie.”

Akaashi places his briefcase on the dining table and sighs. “I apologize for coming home so late, I just couldn’t get out of the office, and then the storm caused traffic on the way back. I hope you girls didn’t get caught in it while trick-or-treating?”

“Oh, not at all. I was keeping a close eye on the clouds the entire time. We made it home just fine.” your voice soothes Akaashi’s nerves as he hears you getting up from the couch. “And I don’t mind. Kisa’s such a great kid, I love spending time with her. I took a bunch of photos too, I’ll send them tomorrow.”

You flounder in the living room for a second, taking a glance at how the storm doesn’t seem to be letting up at all. Akaashi notices this, and the time. It’s past midnight and he’s certain the trains aren’t running anymore. He can’t let a young girl like you venture out into the night all by herself, but a drive back to your place in this weather isn’t ideal and he can’t leave Kisa alone.

“I should probably—”

“Just spend the night,” Akaashi interrupts. He knows you at this point, you’re much too nice to ask for a cab ride home and you’d probably rather trek through the rain than ever be a bother to anyone. “Don’t argue with me on this one, I’m not letting you go out in this storm.”

That’s all it takes to shut you up, nodding without another word. You’re such a good girl for always listening to him. He reminds you that extra sheets and pillows are in the hall closet and he has some of his ex’s pajamas upstairs that you could borrow. He has no issue taking you home after he drops Kisa off at daycare. 

After he assured you that it wasn’t a problem, Akaashi could see that you were finally starting to calm down. He suggested finishing the movie you were watching before going to bed, he needed to unwind a little bit himself. Before settling on the couch, he grabs a bottle of wine from the kitchen and two glasses and places them on the coffee table. 

“I know you’re gonna want to fight me, but you’re off the clock, sweetie,” Akaashi says, putting an end to any protest you’re about to give him. “I’m not your boss right now.” He pours a glass for each of you and hands one over.

He may be old but he can tell when he’s got a woman flustered and it’s written all over your face. So cute. You hold out your glass. “Cheers?” Behave, Keiji, he thinks as both of you clink your glasses.

It turns out horror movies haven’t gotten much better in the past couple of years. Still relying on overdramatic acting and cheesy jump scares, but he figures it can’t be all that bad if it scares pretty girls like you into scooting a bit closer to him. “Did you finish your drink already, sweetheart?” You look over at your empty glass, slightly embarrassed for drinking it so quickly. “It’s okay. Here, have some more.”

You’re more receptive this time, eagerly holding your glass so he can pour more wine. He always took you for a lightweight but seeing it in person was a sight to behold. “Sorry about making you work on Halloween. I’m sure you would’ve rather gone to a party or something,” Akaashi says, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Ahhh, it’s okay,” you giggled, curling up underneath the blanket Akaashi had on the couch. “There’s always gonna be another party.”

“Oh, do you go often?” he asks, chuckling at your quirked eyebrows. “Hey, I was your age too.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you tease, taking another swig—Akaashi’s certain he’s gonna have to refill your cup once again. “I go sometimes…if class gets a bit crazy, it’s nice not to think about work.”

Akaashi’s eyes flick over to the television screen, the dumb sorority girl in the movie starts flirting with the nerd boy character. There’s another thing he remembers about these stupid movies, a cheesy sex scene. A cardinal sin, their days are definitely numbered. But he wonders if their inevitable death will scare you enough that you’ll move even closer. At this point, you’re practically in his lap although it doesn’t seem like you’re aware of it. Are you this oblivious around other people? 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks without thinking, grabbing the wine bottle to refill your glass. He’s shocked and relieved when you shake your head no. “Come on, a pretty girl like you? I would think you’d have to fight these college boys off with a stick.”

Akaashi’s hand touches your thigh, gripping the soft skin. He feels the muscle twitch and a cute hum leave your lips but you don’t make a comment on it. “I don’t have time for boys,” you mumbled, eyes focused on the screen. You must be so tipsy at this point, poor thing, brain too foggy to notice the obvious jump scare that’s about to happen. It’s alright, though, the loud noise sends you leaning against him now.

“Aww, did you get scared, honey?” he coos, hand rubbing your back. Akaashi’s hand travels back to your thigh, running his fingers along the fabric of your jeans. “Are you really comfortable sleeping like that? Remember I have some extra clothes.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine…” But Akaashi isn’t having it, pulling you closer until you’re fully seated in his lap. You gasp in surprise, but don’t make an effort to push him away. On the contrary, you settle in his hold, sighing in relief.

Akaashi plays with the button at the front of your pants, easily spreading your legs so they dangle on the outside of his. “What did I say about fighting me, sweetie? I only want to help,” with deft hands, he undoes the clasp and pulls the zipper down. He’s so elated when you silently allow him to shimmy your bottoms off, leaving your panties exposed. “Doesn’t that feel so much better?”

He truly can’t help himself, thumb brushing against the front of your underwear. He slaps your thigh to placate you when you start squirming in his grasp. “I’m just helping, baby, it’s okay.”

“Noooo, sir, you can’t look at me down there,” the smell of wine is heavy on your breath as you slur your words. “It’s so embarrassing…” But Akaashi stopped listening when you called him “sir.” He thought he trained you not to call him that, but you can’t help it. So stupid with all that alcohol running through your veins. He’s feeling the effects of his few drinks—he would never be so forward like this but fortune favors the bold.

“Is that why there’s a wet spot right here?” Akaashi asks, touching between your legs once more, purposely reaching for the damp spot that’s slowly growing. He hears you whine again but quells it with a simple shush. “We have to be quiet remember? You’re gonna wake Kisa up.”

That makes you bite your lip, stifling any cries that would fall out. But it doesn’t do much to hinder Akaashi from touching you. His fingers playing at the hem of your panties. He could feel you trying to bring your legs together, but he keeps them spread. “Will you let me touch you, baby? I’ll make you feel so good,” he breathes.

Even in your embarrassment, you’re still a good girl and nod, boosting his ego. With the green light, Akaashi wastes no time plunging two of his fingers inside you. He’s quick to cover your mouth with his free hand, suppressing the cry before you can wake up the whole house. He even has to catch himself for a second, head lolling back at how wet you are. Fuck. 

The vice grip you have around his hand tells Akaashi that you’re going to feel so much sweeter when he has his cock in you. Perfect, he thinks. The thought of some inexperienced college boy on top of you, failing to make you cum, made him uneasy. A good girl like you needs a man. You’re still young and inexperienced—you need someone to show you real pleasure.

He’s more than happy to take up the mantle.

Akaashi’s other hand travels up your shirt, tugging at your bra until one of your breasts spills out. The flesh is so soft in his grasp, he has to let out another groan. He fucks you harder with his fingers, turning your head to swallow your cries with rough kisses. There’s a fire inside Akaashi that he didn’t know existed. It certainly wasn’t there during those last few months of his marriage or with those one-night stands he had to fill the void.

He needs you to cum, needs to feel your juices running down his arm. Akaashi pays attention to your clit, circling it with his thumb just enough to see your legs start shaking. “Does it feel good, angel?”

You cutely whine against his lips, “Yes…it feels so good, sir.” Akaashi has to compose himself when your hips start moving When you’re fucking yourself on his fingers, chasing your high any way you can. God, he’s really gonna fuck you up. “Ahh, sir—sir, I’m gonna!” You whine into your hand to cover up the sounds, creaming around Akaashi’s hand as your eyes rolled back in bliss. He lets your body rock through it, free hand playing with your buds. Rolling and tugging them between his fingers.

“Honey, you’re making a mess all over me,” but Akaashi’s the opposite of upset. He wants to lick all of it up until he’s drowning in your sweet nectar. He wants to bury his face in between your legs and make you cum over and over until your brain is mush. But he’s hard and leaking in his pants and while he knows he can hold out as long as he needs to, Akaashi needs to experience the feeling of your cunt around him.

While you’re still feeling the effects, Akaashi wraps his arms around you and hoists you up, carrying you bridal style. “You’re gonna feel so much more comfortable on my bed, baby,” he whispers, trekking up the steps, down the hallway, and far from Kisa’s room where she’s fast asleep. He sets you down on the plush king-sized mattress and smiles at how quickly you settle into the silk sheets. “Feels good, yeah? Wanted to have more room while I fuck you.” Akaashi breathes, unbuttoning his shirt before climbing into the bed and hovering over you.

You’re staring up at him with wide, doe eyes. So naive to what’s to come. “Oh, I’m gonna fuck you. Wanna see you cum from my cock, okay?”

Akaashi kisses you again, smothering your noises of affirmation. He pulls the rest of your clothes off, savoring the sight of your naked body, the swell of your breasts, and your glistening cunt between your legs. Next time, he thinks. Next time Akaashi will reward himself with fucking you with his tongue. His cock hits his abdomen when he finally frees it, kicking his pants and boxers down and stroking himself with anticipation. “It’s gonna go so deep in you, but I know you can take it. You’re such a good girl…”

The words only make you squirm more underneath him. Akaashi stops stalling and rubs his cock against your folds, cursing under his breath from how wet you are. It’s so easy for him to slip in, easily stretching you out until he’s buried at the hilt. He has you folded in a half, pushing at the back of your thighs to reach even deeper. 

Such a dumb, pretty girl you are, letting a man twice your age fuck you unprotected. You’re so lucky that it’s Akaashi doing this and not some other man who’d take advantage of you. He can take such good care of you—make you feel good, get your eyes to roll to the back of your head, you’ll never want to look at another man again.

“You’re so big,” you gasp, fingernails digging into Akaashi’s skin when he sets a slow pace. Akaashi pulls nearly all the way out before meeting his hips once again with yours. He can tell you’re getting addicted from the way your cunt spasms around him, clenching down to the point you’re practically choking him.

A pretty girl like you will definitely let him cum inside, fill up that young, fertile womb of yours. Oh, how adorable would you look with his seed spilling out of you? Or even better, plump and round with his baby? He’s always wanted a sibling for Kisa but his bitch wife wouldn’t allow it. But you wouldn’t fight him. Akaashi could be able to provide for you if you’d just let him.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect. Never felt a pussy this good in my life,” he mumbles, leaning down to kiss you, slightly changing the angle of his thrusts. The sounds of you crying out are intoxicating, he could drown in it. 

"You ever felt someone's cum inside you, baby?" Akaashi asks in between kisses, groaning at the sight of your breasts bouncing as he fucks you. 

"No, never..." you sigh, mouthing a small fuck as Akaashi keeps going. 

He kisses you harder and the pride that's been bubbling inside him burns white hot in the pit of his stomach. He might not be the first to claim your body, but he'll definitely be the first the breed you—and that feels so much better.

Akaashi brings a hand to your chin, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes were fucked out, mouth wet with spit. So beautiful. "It'll make you feel all warm," he says against your lips. "You'll feel so full and when it runs out of you—fuck. You'll love it so much, baby."

Wrapping your legs around Akaashi's waist, you pull him closer. "I want it! I want your cum, sir," you whined and Akaashi has you right where he wants. A dumb, cock drunk girl crying underneath him.

It's perfect. You're fucking perfect.

"God, I'm gonna fucking ruin you," he grunts, moving faster. Akaashi's thrusts get sloppy, losing his rhythm as he fucks you with purpose. "Gonna make you so full of me."

You're crying, fat tears running down your cheeks as you're overcome with pleasure and the feeling of your nails dragging down Akaashi's back tells him that you're cumming once again. 

It's so messy, your walls form a vice grip around his cock, and Akaashi, the experienced man that he is, can't help it. He cums with your name on his tongue, flooding your sinful cunt.

Both of you stay like that for a while. Akaashi's cock twitched inside you, making sure there isn't a single drop wasted. After a while, he wipes any stray tears that fall, kissing your warm cheeks with praises in between.

"You did so well, sweetie. You took all of me," he says, holding your shaking frame. He gives you a few seconds before peeling away and pulling his cock out, eyes locked on his seed flowing out of your cunt and making the mess he knew it would. "Look at that..." he whispers, completely mesmerized.

He knows he has to clean you up, but Akaashi lets himself enjoy the sight for right now. He'll keep the end of his bargain and drop you off at your place in the morning. But a part of him hopes you'll want to stay a little longer. You can be his cute live-in nanny, who takes care of his angel in the morning and gets fucked dumb at night. 

You’ll do it for him. You’re a good girl after all.

©sugawarassoulmate 2022 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!

[astroismypassion]

Astrology observations 💚💚💚

Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion

💚💚 Scorpio Moons, even Moon in the 8th house or Cancer over the 8th house, talk about their sex life either in songs or accidentally "out" some of their sexual preferences online, in podcasts, interviews. Beyonce, a Scorpio Moon native, said she felt somewhat embarassed about song Partition (which is about sex with her husband) when she realized her parents will hear the song as well. Same with Justin Bieber (Cancer over the 8th house native) who wrote song Yummy, which he admitted was basically about his sex life.

💚💚 I noticed Aquarius, Capricorn and Gemini Jupiter are more prone to establish some sort of "rules" in their marriage or with their spouse. Albert Einstein, for example who is an Aquarius Jupiter at a Gemini degree (27 degree) had some unique, unconventional rules established in his marriage with first wife Mileva Marić. Which were that his wife should not expect any intimacy from him, should not reproach him in any way, should stop talking to him if he requested it, should leave his bedroom or study immediately without protest if requested and should refrain from belittling him in front of the children. This is even more prominent if Jupiter is also in the 3rd, 10th or 11th house. Jupiter retrograde natives second guess marriage a lot. Or they might marry the same person twice or they question themselves whether that are able to follow through with the committment and even if they are able to commit in the first place. Or they dislike sacrifices and compromises that marriage brings. There are so many real life celebrity examples of this, such as Elon Musk, Justin Bieber, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey.

💚💚 Gemini Jupiter encounters issues in marriage only, because they seem too invested in their job. It's like they are metaphorically married to their job, work in the community or with social media. Famous Gemini Jupiter natives are: Taylor Swift, Steve Jobs, Tom Brady, Shania Twain, Billie Eilish, Emma Watson etc.

💚💚 Capricorn Moon likes to feel needed, but they do not like needy people.

💚💚 Pluto over the 2nd house transit or in Solar Return chart means that you could receive financial aid, especially from the government and other national institutions.

💚💚 I noticed sometimes person’s surname can be quite revealing about their major threes (Sun, Moon, Rising). Gemini placements can have an animal surname, most often also bird name. Like Fox, Robin, Wolf. Taurus Suns can have a surname that means field, cook, food aliment Youtuber Josh Carrott has Carrott surname and he is a Taurus Sun. Such as Mia Goth has Goth as a surname and is a Scorpio Sun.

💚💚 If you are looking at bands, Leo Sun almost always ends up the frontman or the lead singer. Like Joe Jonas from Jonas Brothers or even Mick Jagger from The Rolling Stones for example.

💚💚 Taurus Sun women often go for bad boy type of partner. Even if their person is the biggest softie and sweetheart. The physical appearance is always tall, hunky, with tattoos or piercings. Real life examples are Megan Fox (Taurus Sun) and grunge-y looking partner MGK, Debby Ryan (Taurus Sun) with Josh Dun from Twenty-one pilots who has tattoos, Behati Prinsloo (Taurus Sun) who has partner Adam Levine, again many tattoos.

💚💚 I noticed Capricorn Suns are always the ones best dressed in the friend group or the one that just dresses in more down to earth, simple, humble and plain clothing so that they don’t stand out too much or draw too much attention.

💚💚 I noticed not a lot of people who date share the same Rising sign. However, Scorpio Rising often times finds and dates another Scorpio Rising.

💚💚 Leo over the 7th house or Leo Descendant or ruler of the 7th house in the 5th house especially when younger can date people that don’t even truly want them or be with them. 🙁

💚💚 After marriage, Libra Chiron people often make their marriage their whole identity.

💚💚 I noticed a pattern with Mars retrograde people. Such as actor Sam Clafflin, Michael Jordan, Morgan Freeman, Theresa May or Robert Downey Jr. Often due to not being as assertive, people would start talking over them or they start a sentence and then don’t finish it, but start a new one or use a lot of “you know”. They often are what people would expect of retrograde Mercury people.

💚💚 Aquarius and Leo Moons really like quirky, modern, fun looking home decor and furniture. They would buy nipple pillows, big stool in form of an orange breast vases. They really don’t take themselves too seriously when it comes to decorating their home.

💚💚 5th house shows your primary education and even creative extensions of self. 2nd house shows earning abilities and manner of meeting financial obligations. 12th house shows emotional blocks and hidden support. 6th house shows your food preparation, but also attitude towards work. 10th house shows how the world judges you. But also your responsibility to society. 11th house shows money from your actual profession, not your job. 1st house shows your very, very early environment.

💚💚 Cancer Suns just love their bathroom selfies.

💚💚 Gemini/Virgo or Aries and even Taurus over the 3rd house often get their driving license in high school. Aquarius and Capricorn might wait a little and do it when they get their first steady job or after their first Saturn Return. They could also buy a car shortly after. Pisces over the 3rd house might decide do car share or car pool or they pass their driving license, but don’t own a car. Libra over the 3rd house could rely on their partner’s car and for them to drive them around.

💚💚 Sun at 20 degrees women often go for the “odd” guy. Sometimes this translates to unconventional looking as well. Such as Mila Kunis who is Sun at 20 degrees native who dated Macaulay Culkin.

💚💚 Taurus Suns often end up getting along with everyone, especially in school and work settings.

💚💚 Aries Mercury can end up always wanting to stay positive no matter what. Always putting on “a brave face”.

💚💚 Pisces Sun photographers are really good at taking pictures of parties, because they capture the moment so well. Libra Sun photographers, on the other hand, really focus more on taking shots of attractive people, not so much with the setting itself and especially couples. Famous photographer Tyrell Hampton who took a picture of Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber was a Libra Sun.

Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion

[xxlelaxx]

I am so frustrated cause of the corona thing. Everything happens exactly like people say and then everyone just acts surprised and then we have to slow down everything again and rich people get richer and then I have to read from bwl maxi that it's all poor people's fault

[sonic-justice-real-for]

Guys, I think it's time to explain what happened to the sonic-for-real-justice url and the OG blog that had it. They both got terminated for inappropriate content involving or depicting minors. This is because of the original Mod Sonic and their boyfriend. I used to be friends with Mod Sonic and during that time we had a fight over the url and this blog. We eventually compromised by me keeping this blog and Mod Sonic taking the url. Eventually, Mod Sonic started being weird about the url and antagonizing people under it (not surprising). I had been friends with Mod Sonic for around five years for better or worse. Recently, they did something insane to me. They, a 22 year old adult, pretended to be dating and grooming a 14 year old child to me in order to trick me for whatever reason. I. of course, freaked out and came very close to contacting the authorities over it. But then, Mod Sonic revealed that he was "just fucking with me" and the person playing the role of the 14 year old was just his 23 year old boyfriend. I instantly stopped being friends with him and blocked him on everything.

(That's a screenshot I took the day it happened, it was actually months ago.) Since then he has been heavily harassing me. This was last October I believe. But one of the ways Mod Sonic was harassing me was posting extremely inappropriate and harmful content related to minors. Anyone current going by Mod Sonic on this blog is not the original, because the original has some sort of weird obsession with making jokes about wanting to have relations with minors. Or maybe it's really true and they really do want that, I wouldn't know.

Either way, at this point, this blog is the only source for sonic-for-real-justice. The url was terminated and the OG blog was terminated.

That part at the top where I said I was pissed at them was unrelated to the pedo thing btw, I was already mad at them about something else.

[theteasetwrites]

The Dixon Problem

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: Season 1 (The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning series) ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: swearing, mild violence ❧ Word Count: 5k

❧ Summary: Not everyone is happy with the Dixons’ presence in the camp, especially Shane. When things go haywire, the only solution is a compromise, and to let Daryl know you care.

❧ A/N: I realize I’m posting this after a weird little argument over the ethics of zooming in on a man’s crotch but here we are. This is a fanfiction blog, believe it or not. Anyway, here’s another fic set in the same universe as The Beginning (I really like doing these ok), and this one takes place between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5. I really wanted to do some oneshots that would’ve happened before they got together because idk it just seems to cool to read about them before they kissed at the CDC and sort of build up to that. I find it fun to hint at their burgeoning attraction to one another, and how they’re both kind of in denial about their little crushes lol. We all know it was love at first sight. Also I loved writing Daryl fighting with Shane it was so fun. Daryl should’ve punched Shane in the show don’t @ me.

A deep huff escaped your lips as the back of your hand wiped the dripping sweat from your brow. The sun was a few hours from setting, but Georgia summers were unforgiving, and even a setting sun would prove to be dangerous if you didn’t hydrate.

Taking a sip of water from the crinkly plastic bottle, you watched Lori skillfully sew up the rips in one of Shane’s shirts. It was a skill you had neglected, but at one point, you were pretty good with a machine. Hand sewing was something else entirely.

“You’re so good at that,” you said. “How’d you learn?”

Lori smiled as she looked at you, staring in awe. “My mom sewed, my granny sewed, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my great granny sewed, too.”

“That’s sweet… Maybe you could teach me sometime?”

“Sure, but I thought you were trying to get Mr. Crossbow to teach you how to hunt?” She spoke with a crooked smile, on the verge of laughing. You failed to see what was so funny, frankly.

But mostly, you were embarrassed. The warm blush on your cheeks and the butterflies doing somersaults in your belly betrayed you, though you just pretended none of it was there.

“Well, he, uh, said I should learn how to fight first. He said he’d teach me that, though.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm… Why are you laughing?”

Lori lowered her head until her hair covered her face, but you heard a few snorts and giggles from beneath the dark curtain.

“You’re so cute,” she said. “That’s all.”

“Cute? Why am I cute?”

“You just are…” She leaned closer to speak in a quiet voice. “I bet Daryl thinks you’re really cute.”

You scoffed, trying to laugh it off as you awkwardly nudged her shoulder with yours. “Stop. That’s not funny. Not true, either. I think he finds me annoying.”

“Oh, really?” she asked. “What about the little rock he cracked open for you? That doesn’t sound like the actions of a man who’s annoyed.”

That “little rock” was now your prized possession. You had one half, and you’d let Daryl keep the other. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world to you. That rock was a geode, something your father would’ve added to his extensive collection. Maybe you were thinking too much into it, and maybe it was cliché, but you liked to think that it represented the last beautiful thing in the world. You kept it by your cot, on full display so it was the first thing you saw each morning. Sometimes, the translucent purple shards would catch the new light that streamed through your tent in just the most perfect way.

“He was just being nice,” you said. “Daryl’s… really nice. I mean, he’s a little… grumpy, but he’s got a good heart. I can tell. I wouldn’t have brought him here if I didn’t think so.”

Before Lori could respond with another teasing quip, you both flinched at the sound of Daryl, the man you were just talking, and thinking a little too deeply, about. His voice was raised, one decibel away from being a yell. It sounded like it was coming from the center of camp, near Dale’s RV, so you both jogged over, anxious to see whatever was causing Daryl to yell a series of curse words and a few other words you couldn’t yet make out.

“Stupid cop!” you heard, now getting closer. “Who the hell do ya think you are?! This ain’t Miami Vice.”

You stumbled upon Daryl, with his chest puffed up and his hands moving vigorously along with his hostile words, in some kind of argument with Shane, who only shook his head with his hands on his waist as the bowman hurled insults his way.

“Listen, Dixon,” replied Shane, who was visibly also beginning to lose his temper, “we gotta maintain some order ‘round here. Now, I don’t give a shit ‘bout what you and your white trash redneck brother used to get up to in bumfuck nowhere, but there’s women and kids here, and I don’t want this shit ‘round ‘em.”

Oh, noble Shane, you thought to yourself, but then again, you still had no idea what the men were arguing about, so maybe he had a point. Still, you did take some issue to being compared to a child, but you weren’t about to jump in the middle of a fight between two burly, hotheaded men for the sake of feminism.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?! It ain’t nothin’, Merle goes off into the woods to do it! Ain’t no women or children gonna get hurt. You’re just as stupid as you look, Columbo.”

“It ain’t them seein’ the drugs I’m worried about,” Shane replied, getting closer to Daryl until their chests were nearly touching. “It’s you and your ugly ass brother.”

Drugs? You knew Merle had a stash of drugs, including crystal meth, and most others figured it based on, well, everything about him, but you didn’t think Shane would pick a fight with Daryl over it. Maybe Merle himself, but not Daryl. Merle wasn’t even there that day, having taken his turn to go hunting, though he never brought back nearly as much as his brother. You weren’t sure if it was because Merle wasn’t a very good hunter, or because he just didn’t care enough to bring back food for your group, but either way, it was clear which brother was better.

“Man, that’s bullshit,” he replied, narrowing his eyes at Shane. “You wanna see a threat then look in the mirror. There’ll be a big arrogant prick starin’ back at ya.” Daryl punctuated his sentence by shoving the other man backwards, but before Daryl could strut away as he planned, Shane shoved him back.

“Watch yourself,” Daryl warned, voice low and raspy. “I don’t want your pig blood on my hands.”

He tried to brush past Shane, but the man was fuming. He shoved Daryl back once more, knocking him to the ground.

A puff of dirt swallowed his body as you let out a small gasp of disbelief. No one in the group had gotten physical with anyone like this yet. Maybe it was only a matter of time before it happened. After all, a group of several strangers under incredible physical and mental stress in the middle of the end of the world was a recipe for disaster, but you’d hoped it wouldn’t happen so soon.

All you could register was the sound of Daryl’s grunting before he sprung back up to sock Shane across the face, disorienting him. He soon struck back, but Daryl ducked and delivered a blow to Shane’s stomach.

Shane had managed to deliver a few blows of his own, but at this point, all you could focus on was thinking of a way to break them up without getting hurt yourself.

“H-hey!” you shouted out, along with Lori and several other women who’d gathered around, yelling to the men to stop. “Stop it!”

Dale was frantically climbing down the ladder of the RV, then greeted the scene with wide eyes. “Hey, hey! Break it up!” He managed to get his arms between the two of them, but he could only keep Shane back. Daryl even tried to get around Dale so he could deliver one last blow to Shane’s face, but T-Dog came up behind and pinned the enraged man’s arms back.

“Get offa me!” he yelled to T-Dog, then turned his attention back to Shane. “I’m gonna beat your ass, you hear me, bacon bits?!”

Dale stood between them, holding his hands out to keep them both at bay. Their chests swelled with heavy, panting breaths as their faces molded into their own unique scowls. Shane’s was terrifying, much more than Daryl’s. His dark brown eyes didn’t need to narrow at all, they were just as terrifying in their wideness. His mouth wasn’t agape, it was sealed shut as the breaths pumped out of his flared nostrils. He stood completely still, like a ticking time bomb. You’d never been more terrified of the man.

Daryl paced back and forth for a few feet on each side of him, his face much more natural looking, but still enraged. At least you could make some sense of Daryl in his anger. He didn’t send a shiver down your spine like Shane did. Well, and maybe you were a little partial to Daryl now, since he’d shown you kindness. In any case, the awkward silence that permeated the stiff, humid air was excruciating.

“Just calm down,” panted Dale, arms still outstretched between them. “What the hell is going on here?”

Shane huffed before speaking. “I was just tryin’ to have a civil conversation about the drug use goin’ on in this camp.”

“Drug use?” questioned Lori. “No, no way. No drugs, not around the kids. That’s the last thing we need right now.”

Daryl turned to look at Lori, not with anger, but confusion. He seemed troubled, unable to reconcile something in his head. His eyes squinted shut as he wiped his nose, which had just begun to bleed from the punch. He spat a glob of pinkish saliva onto the dirt ground, then turned back to face Shane.

“Talk to Merle,” was all he said. His voice was quieter now, almost timid, but still with an air of defensiveness.

He turned back again, in the direction of his tent. You met his glance for a moment, at which point he seemed to stop in his tracks. His foot backstepped, flashes of blue still on you until they averted to the ground. When he regained his focus, he moved quicker, more determined. Still, his confidence seemed drained after he looked your way, but all you could pay attention to now was Shane, who was walking directly towards you, huffing and puffing.

“What the hell were you thinkin’, bringin’ those meth heads here, huh? You stupid or somethin’? I thought you were some kinda… librarian.” He ended his sentence with a sarcastic chuckle.

Before you could respond, Lori spoke up, and thank God she did. You were still petrified by Shane’s aggression, and Lori knew him from before the fall. Maybe he’d actually listen to her.

“Stop it, Shane,” she scolded in an almost motherly tone. Fitting, since the argument between him and Daryl seemed more like that of children than two grown men in their thirties. “It’s done. No point in arguing about it.”

For your part, you took a moment to collect your thoughts, then spoke to Shane with as much bravado as you could muster. “It’s because of Daryl that we’re not starving to death,” you said.

Dale stepped forward, hand outstretched slightly to gesture towards you. “That’s a good point, but what about the drugs?”

You shook your head profusely. “I don’t know anything about any drugs.” That wasn’t true, you knew Merle was getting high, and that he was a dealer, but that honestly didn’t matter to you much at this point. As far as you were concerned, everything that had ever separated the human race from each other was out the window. Drug addicts were no different from Mormons now. Granted, Merle could be unpredictable, and you hated him, frankly, but Daryl and Merle seemed like a package deal, so you’d have to deal with both of them if your group was to reap the benefits of having a skilled hunter.

Plus, you might’ve fostered a bit of admiration for him. Friendly admiration, of course.

“Well, I just ain’t havin’ no crystal meth in this camp,” replied Shane. “And I’m about this close to killin’ your buddy, so’s as far as I’m concerned, this is your problem to solve if you wanna keep them here.”

Diplomacy wasn’t your strong suit, but if it kept Shane from kicking out the Dixon’s, you’d try your best to find some common ground.

“Compromise,” Dale said with a nod. “(Y/N), you should talk to Daryl, ask him to talk some sense into Merle when he gets back to camp. We give them shelter, they get rid of the drugs.”

It sounded more like an ultimatum than a compromise, but you were perhaps the only person who’d had any meaningful contact with the slightly more tolerable brother, so you put aside your reservations to head to the Dixons’ camp, several yards away from the rest of the group.

He was on one knee as he chopped the head off a squirrel on the sawed log he was using as a butcher block. The sound of the axe slicing through the flesh and digging into the wood was so powerful that you flinched, alerting the hunter to your presence.

Though he didn’t look your way. He simply set aside the axe and continued skinning the creature as if you weren’t there.

“You want a piece of me, too, woman?” he asked. “Whatever you gotta say, I ain’t in the mood.”

You bit your lip as you stood still, thinking of what to say. Daryl was tricky, you knew that. Sometimes he was nice to you, and sometimes he wanted nothing to do with you. No one in the camp knew how to deal with him, really. You only knew a little because you somehow found yourself trying to ingratiate yourself with him, but why? You still weren’t exactly sure.

“May I sit down?” you blurted out, thinking that might be the first step to talking to him.

He looked up at you then, with a suspicious glare.

“Why?”

Just as you were still trying to get used to talking to him, he was still trying to get used to your desire to talk to him in the first place. Why would a woman like you want anything to do with a man like him, anyway? Surely you had an ulterior motive, though he couldn’t deny there was something genuinely kind and soft about your face. Maybe even, dare he say, pretty? Not just physically, though he was painfully aware of that, but through and through, you were quite lovely. Well, that’s how it seemed, anyway.

Merle always said that women couldn’t be trusted, that if they weren’t childlike and dumb, they were manipulative and cunning. Nothing else, nothing in between. Of course, Daryl had a hard time believing that. People weren’t that simple, and Merle’s authority on the topic of women was questionable at best. Still, old habits die hard, and maybe he was just a little skeptical of your intentions. After all, no woman or man had ever shown this much interest in talking to him.

Daryl was, for all intents and purposes, a loser. He still felt like one, though he had to admit, when you brought him to your camp, insisting that your group needed him, he did feel a small sense of real, genuine pride, for the first time in his life. Maybe he had something to offer, something good he could do. Maybe you really wanted him there, and he wasn’t just a loser with a bad temper and a meth head brother.

His deeply ingrained insecurity, though, told him otherwise, and that you were only kind to him because of what he could offer your group, not because you actually appreciated him. But then again, the rest of the group had all but ignored him since he arrived, and you were the one who’d spoken more than five words to him at a time. That had to mean something, right?

“I want to talk to you,” you said simply. “So, can I?”

He chewed his lip as he looked you up and down, as if inspecting you. Wordlessly, he nodded, then lowered his head again to focus on the mutilated squirrel.

As you cleared your throat, you sat yourself on a dinky camping chair across from the fire pit. Both of you were silent for a little while, with only the sounds of flesh tearing from the muscle of the little furry critters Daryl was skinning. You watched with furrowed brows, though at a certain point, you had to stop looking, otherwise you’d get a little woozy, so you lifted your gaze to the top of Daryl’s head, covered in short, choppy brown hair.

Surprisingly, just before you were about to say something, Daryl spoke first. “I ain’t no meth head,” he said abruptly. “I don’t touch that shit.” Not anymore, he thought, but something stopped him. Could it be… embarrassment? Maybe shame. All he knew was there was a part of him that cared what you thought, for some odd reason. He’d trained himself not to give a damn about anything, though it was in his nature to. Why was your presence bringing out his sensitivity? It was a blessing and a curse. It hurts to care, he’d always thought. Nothing good could come of it. He cared once, before he knew how cruel people could be.

“I never said you did.”

“S’what you all think,” he replied. “Y’all think I’m some kinda… stupid redneck bastard.” Wouldn’t be wrong, a voice inside him retorted.

“I don’t think that.”

He finally raised his eyes again, glowering at you. “You will.”

It shouldn’t have hurt you, but it did, just a little bit. “I bet you I won’t.”

He shook his head and stood up to retrieve the red rag that was often dangling from his back pocket. Wiping his hands, he nodded towards you. “What’d ya really come over ‘ere for? They send ya over to kick me out?”

You shook your head immediately. “No, no. Not at all. Just… You need to tell Merle to quit with the drugs.”

Daryl scoffed, almost a laugh. “Askin’ Merle to give up crystal’s like askin’ him to cut off his own hand. ‘Sides, ya don’t think I’ve tried? Ain’t no use in it. Might as well jus’ kick us to the curb ‘cause it ain’t gonna happen.”

His apathy frustrated you, and you let out an exasperated, now quite irritated, puff of air. “So you’d rather live out in the woods by yourselves than in a group, with people who will look out for you?”

“None of these people will look out for me,” he scoffed.

“Well, I would.”

He looked your way again, this time not suspicious, but confused. “Why’d ya bring me and Merle here in the first place? All ya got to show for it is bein’ yelled at and bossed around by that asshole Shane.” He spat the man’s name out in obvious distaste.

“I told you,” you said, “I thought you would be able to help us… And you saved me. I’d be dead right now if it weren’t for you.”

He lowered his head again, busying himself by cleaning between his fingers with the rag in the hopes of distracting you from the obvious blush on his cheeks. When he didn’t respond, you realized you hadn’t asked him a similar question.

“Why’d you save me, anyway?” you asked, your voice a little more quiet, as if afraid of him even hearing it.

After all, you were a complete stranger, why should he have helped you? What you knew from human nature was that people often only helped others if they knew there was something in it for them. True altruism was hard to come by, and often not evolutionarily beneficial. Those who helped others and put themselves in danger often died out before their lineage could carry on. Well, that was your vague memories of anthropology class resurfacing, but it still applied.

Indeed, you yourself hadn’t been acting out of true altruism. You had decided to bring Merle and Daryl into the fold because they were hunters, and they could benefit your group by providing your people sustenance. But Daryl’s motivations were less clear.

He swallowed hard as thought for a moment, himself now forced with the reality of facing that question. Why did he help you?

For the next several moments, he transported himself to that day just a month ago, when he was trudging around in the woods outside Atlanta, listening to Merle ramble on about some drunken memory, a relic of his “glory days” that he seemed unable to forget about. They had no destination, no idea where they were going. They’d tried the refugee center in the city, but that had been overrun about as soon as it was set up. Merle was quite content to rough it, and so was Daryl, so long as there weren’t flesh-eating monsters roaming around.

When he heard the rather faint sound of a woman screaming, somewhere ahead in the maze of aspen trees dotting the humid forest, something in him switched, and though he remembered the muffled sound of Merle’s protesting, all he could hear at the time was the scream getting closer and closer.

Soon he was in a small clearing, setting sight on a decrepit creature. Below it were two squirming legs, belonging to the screaming woman who was just inches away from becoming something’s lunch.

Without hesitation, he lifted his bow to shoot, snagging the creature in the head until it fell less than gracefully onto your chest. Pushing the body off, you faced him, mouth panting and eyes hazy with tears.

He tried to think of what he thought then, but it was difficult to put himself in that position again. He only remembered your face, how scared you were. You seemed so fragile, and yet somehow brave enough to look him in the eye. Most of all, you were peculiar to him, different from anyone or anything he’d seen before. Of course, there was nothing particularly strange looking about you, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. You were just… special, with a calming aura of warmth around you, something he was instinctively drawn to for whatever reason.

So, how was he supposed to explain that? You seemed special, important, warm… Creepy. He knew that would’ve sounded creepy. He was already embarrassed from Shane’s display earlier, and his stomach stung to think of you seeing that cop strike him across the face, to appear weak. Once again, he wondered why he cared in the first place.

He finally settled for a somewhat satisfactory explanation. “S’just what people do.”

Indeed, he would’ve done it for anyone. That wasn’t the issue Daryl struggled with, he knew right from wrong, for the most part. He struggled with understanding why you looked at him the way you did, and why he found himself wanting to keep you safe even after the creature attacking you was long dead.

At least you seemed happy with that answer, as one corner of your lips upturned into a small smile. “Well, I am sure some people wouldn’t have done anything. I’m really grateful… And I really don’t want you to go. Merle… I will put up with him if it means you stay here, but if you could please talk to him, try to get him to at least hide the drugs better and maybe go further away from camp to do it, I’d be even more grateful.”

Though he had no idea how he was going to get Merle to agree to changing anything about himself, he couldn’t deny that you were convincing. Something about your wide, almost pleading eyes. Somehow, making you happy seemed to make him happy, too.

“I’ll try,” he said. “But I ain’t promisin’ anything. Merle don’t care ‘bout what I got to say.”

“Well, he should,” you said as you stood to your feet. “He’s your brother… I have a brother, too. We used to talk all the time, though we sort of lost touch before all this.” You gestured around vaguely, ending your sentence with a small nervous chuckle.

Daryl almost didn’t speak, didn’t want to ask what he was thinking, but the look on your face as your lips began to droop and your eyes became vague made him wonder if maybe you needed to talk about it.

“Where is he?” he asked simply, though he immediately began to regret it when he noticed you shifting awkwardly where you stood. “I mean… I, uh… Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you replied with a shake of your head. “No, it’s fine. He’s, well… I don’t know where he is. Last time we talked he was in Atlanta. Actually, that’s why I was headed there when it happened.”

“It’s okay,” you replied with a shake of your head. “No, it’s fine. He’s, well… I don’t know where he is. Last time we talked he was in Atlanta. Actually, that’s why I was headed there when it happened.”

It seemed to be a universally agreed upon signifier. The fall, the turn, the apocalypse, the plague… Everyone called it something different, but what it all came down to was The End, or The Beginning, depending on who you asked.

“Sorry,” was all he could reply, though he found himself going further, speaking more than he normally would’ve. “Hope he’s all right.”

That meant more to you than anything anyone had ever said to you since the world turned. You hadn’t told anyone about your brother, and you weren’t sure why you decided to tell Daryl, but it felt right. In a world where everything was suddenly wrong, lots of things still felt right, all of which had to do with him. Strange.

“Thank you. I do too. He means a lot to me… I���m sure your brother means a lot to you, too, so I understand why you care so much about him. He’s lucky to have you as a brother.”

If Daryl wasn’t so strangely calmed by your presence in this moment, he might’ve protested to the assertion that Merle meant a lot to him, but he supposed he really did, whether or not Daryl liked it.

As he shifted his shoulders, he raised his hand to scratch his neck, chewing the inside of his bottom lip all the while. The unique little nervous mannerisms he had were already becoming part of your ever-growing encyclopedia of quirks Daryl displayed, and you had to say you found that quite endearing. Indeed, you truly felt that Daryl could become a friend. You wanted him to be a friend.

It reminded you that Daryl spent almost all of his time alone. Whenever Merle was gone or at the edge of camp getting up to his illicit activities, Daryl was by himself. You figured he had to get lonely, and surely the sole company of a man like Merle would eventually drive him insane, even if he was his brother.

“Daryl?” you asked, moving closer as you tried to telepathically direct his gaze up at you.

He did, and a flash of silvery blue eyes that caught little sparkles of light from the sun looked up at you. His eyes were quite deep set and narrow, making them seem at first glance to be cold and uninviting, but that wasn’t really the case at all. Now that you saw them in full view, there was mystery there, something waiting to be revealed. You had a feeling whatever it was, it was something lovely. Your curiosity made you eager to get to the bottom of it.

“Yeah?”

Even the strange softness of his often rough, gravelly voice struck you. As he licked his chapped lips, you found yourself trailing your eyes to his light stubble, sparse on his cheeks but more concentrated around his lips, which weren’t particularly full, but beautifully sculpted as if by delicate, intentional little hands. You found his face much more tolerable than his brother’s. Handsome, even. Perhaps not an A-list Hollywood movie star (certainly no one so clean-cut as Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, both of whom you had at one point hung posters of on your closet door in the mid-nineties) but he had been blessed with good proportions and a pleasant visage that you only dwelled on for a moment until your subconsciousness took the image into its darkest recesses. The last thing you needed to do today was to admire a man’s physical appearance, though it did tempt you for just a few seconds. Maybe a few more.

“You should really join us for dinner tonight,” you said. “You know, around the fire… Dale’s going to make something special. I have no idea what, he says it’s a surprise.”

When his breath seemed to hitch and his muscles flexed in seemingly anxious response, you quickly tried to explain yourself. “I mean, I know it’s awkward, with the Shane thing… but Shane has watch during dinner tonight. Maybe you can just… talk to me, and Dale, Andrea, Amy, Glenn, Jacqui… We all sort of congregate, talk a little bit. I’m sure they’d like to get to know you more.”

He found himself wondering how to respond, how to tell you that he hated talking, especially to people he hardly knew. Then again, he liked talking to you. That was clear to him.

“Maybe… I dunno.”

Though you didn’t want to pressure him, it was hard not to try to convince him. You were shy sometimes, too, but the older you got, the more you realized that you needed people, and that couldn’t be more evident than right now, when people were hard to come by.

“All we have is each other,” you said. “You told me that the world’s never gonna be like how it was, and you’re right. We should never take people for granted anymore.”

He’d never wrap his head around the way you spoke sometimes, how you could be so articulate and intelligent, and at other times, so high-strung or bubbly or aloof… You were about as hard to read to him as he was to you.

“I’ll try,” was all he replied.

“That’s all that matters.”

When he briefly lurked around the fire that night, exchanging a few brief words with Dale and Andrea (and you, of course), you felt like you’d gotten somewhere further with the temperamental hunter.

He didn’t stay for long, and hardly ate any of Dale’s “mushroom mash,” but it was something, and though the day started with a fight between Shane and Daryl, it ended with the latter feeling just a little more welcome.

Most of all, you had no regrets about bringing Daryl Dixon to your camp. You had a feeling it was the right thing to do.

~

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Daddy/ 1

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 1.5k

Includes- Stepdad Namjoon, "Dumb/naive" reader, reader name not used- instead called "baby", all are of consenting age, corruption, fingering, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, first orgasm, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @nctzennikki09 @mrcarrots @yoonallthetime @namjooningera @quinsly @kendranicole1996 @jacobhey @wolfgurl2600-blog @mrskimjoon

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Namjoon POV

I walk down the hallway of my house, passing by my step daughter's room

Soft moans stop me in my tracks, right in front of her door

I listen harder, hearing her moans

Sex sounding moans

I shouldn't open the door

I should just keep on walking

But maybe if I catch her in a compromising position, I can use it to my advantage

Grabbing the doorknob, I twist it and push the door open

The sight I walk into makes my cock twitch

She's naked from the waist down, humping a pillow

She doesn't notice I'm here, her hips moving fast and an idea forms in my head

"What are you doing?", I ask, scaring her

She jumps, her head snapping to me, eyes wide with fear and she immediately gets off the pillow

"Daddy", she whispers

Another twitch of my cock, hearing her call me daddy

That's what she's always called me even though she's twenty three

She's so fucking sheltered and honestly a complete airhead

Dumb as rocks

Her mom, my wife, has kept her in a bubble after catching her with a guy in her room when she was eighteenth

The guy was fucking her and her mom freaked out

From then on her mom told her shit to keep her from having sex and staying away from guys

Ridiculous shit, making her totally naive

She didn't even know what was happening to her with the guy, she just knew it felt good

The first time I met her, when she was twenty, I immediately knew she was dumb as a post

It's her mother's fault

She thinks she's keeping her safe but she's just making her gullible

"What are you doing?", I repeat

"Nnnn...nothing", she answers, cheeks red

"Are you lying to daddy? I saw what you were doing"

Walking to her bed, I look down at her pillow that has a huge wet spot on it

"Were you humping your pillow?"

She looks down, not saying anything

"You know you're not supposed to do that"

She nods, "I'm sorry Daddy. Don't tell mom"

I make a decision, one that I've been fantasizing about since I laid eyes on her

"I won't baby. But why did you do it?"

"I just...I had a feeling...down there. It was achy. I wanted it to stop. I...I laid down with the pillow between my legs, trying to make it go away. But I moved and it felt...."

"Good?", I prompt

She nods, "Yeah. I... I kept going and I felt like I was going to explode but...but"

"You couldn't?"

She shakes her head, "Mom told me not to"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes

"I'm sorry Daddy. Don't...don't punish me"

I raise my eyebrow, "I'm not going to punish you baby"

"Oh?", she says, confused

"Daddy's gonna help you"

Her eyes widen, "You...you are?"

I nod, "Yeah baby, but before I do, you have to promise not to tell anyone that daddy's helping you. No friends and absolutely not your mom"

"Don't tell mom?", she asks, hesitating

"If you want daddy's help, you can't tell mom. No one"

She thinks for a minute then nods, "Ok"

"Promise me"

"I promise daddy"

"Good girl", I give her a reassuring smile, "Come closer to the edge of the bed"

I watch her scoot closer

"Lay down"

She complies

"Good. Now open your legs wide for daddy"

"I uh..."

"C'mon baby girl, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna make you feel good ok? Open your pretty legs for daddy"

She nods, slowly spreading her legs

I suck in a breath seeing her perfect, pink pretty pussy

Completely shaved, swollen lips, swollen clit that's throbbing fast, hole clenching around nothing

And she's so fucking wet, creamy juice leaking down her thighs

Such a pretty sight

Bringing my hand to her cunt, I softly run my fingers on her

"Ddd..daddy", she shudders

"Yeah baby. Daddy will make you feel good"

Touching her clit, I move my fingers, rubbing circles into her

"Daddy", she gasps, making me laugh at how easy it is to turn her on

She's so sex deprived and I'll be the one to give it to her

She'll see me as someone who is safe to have sex with and I'll make her into my perfect obedient sex slave

I watch her hole leak so much juice just from a few clit rubs

Turning my hand, I slide two fingers inside her, feeling her automatically clench on me

"Good girl", I praise her

"Daddy what...are you ...doing?", she stammers

"Fingering your cunt baby girl", I tell her

"It feels so good daddy"

I know

I feel her drenching my hand, her cunt so tight already

Poor baby edged herself for who knows how long

"Have you ever orgasmed baby?"

"Uh....what?", she pants

"Have you ever orgasmed? Pleasure running through your whole body? It feels like you're exploding but in an amazing way"

She shakes her head, "No daddy"

"Well daddy's gonna give you one", I answer, slamming my fingers inside her, playing with her clit, "Right now"

I watch as pleasure seizes her body, her thighs shaking, her face so fucked out

"Daddy!", she cries, her fingers squeezing the sheets so hard, "It feel so good daddy!"

"I know baby girl. I know"

I let her ride it out, her body calming when she's done

But I'm not done with her

Kneeling down, I suck her clit into my mouth, tugging hard, moving my fingers again

"Daddy-"

"Shh baby. Daddy wants to suck your clit. Make you feel good again"

"Again?"

"Yes baby. So lay down and enjoy", I demand

She lays down and I go back to sucking her clit hard

Moving my fingers, I rub in a spot and she cries loudly, juice gushing from her

Got her spot

I keep moving and sucking, watching her writhe on the bed and I smirk

I don't mind eating her cunt or fingering her

Her cunt is pretty, her clit is cute, spasming in my mouth

It's what has to be done to get her to rely on me for sex

She also tastes good too

So much better than her mom

"Daddy...I...I'm gonna...I feel"

"Go ahead baby", I tell her, slamming her spot

She yells loudly, coming again and yeah I'll admit that she's pretty when she cums

She's actually really beautiful with a hot body

Someone I could actually date of she wasn't so dumb and naive

Pulling away from her clit, I move my fingers out of her and ask, "Want another one?"

"Yes. Please. Daddy please", she cries

"Ok baby", I answer, "Daddy is gonna eat your cunt so well baby"

Spreading her puffy lips open, I lay my tongue on her and rapidly move it up and down, with her yelling loudly

Thank god her mom isn't home yet

Sliding my tongue down, I slip it inside her clenching hole, feeling her cunt spasm around my tongue, sending pleasure straight to my cock

"Daddy...what's....what's that?"

"Daddy's tongue", I answer

"Iiii....inside?", she asks lifting her head, her eyes widening when she see me between her legs

"Yeah baby. Daddy's tongue is having sex with your pretty pussy", I tell her, "Does it feel good?"

"So good daddy. So good"

"Good baby"

I keep tongue fucking her, over and over,

"Baby, you taste good"

"Wwww...what?"

"Your cream baby, you're pussy juice, tastes good"

"Is is...that good daddy?"

"Perfect baby. Daddy likes the way you taste and it means I'll eat your cunt more often"

"Ccc..cunt?"

"Yeah baby", I answer, licking along her pussy, "This is your cunt"

"Oh", she says, her voice so fucked out

I pump my tongue in and out of her tiny hole, as she clenches around it, dripping juice in my mouth

She moans wordlessly and when I look up at her, she's staring at the ceiling completely fucked out

I smirk

I got her right where I want her

Slipping my tongue out of her slit, I circle her clit with the tip, bringing her closer

Closing my mouth on her clit, I suck hard sending her over the edge, her screams so loud

Quickly slipping my tongue back inside her, I let her ride her orgasm out, her cream coating my tongue

It's really good and I swallow over and over, getting all of it

Might as well enjoy it

When she finishes, I give her cunt a kiss, then stand up, looking down at her spent body

"Good baby?", I ask

She nods, "Yes daddy"

"Good girl", I answer, "If you need daddy to eat you out again you can just ask me ok? I'll make you feel good"

She nods, "Ok"

"Baby", I call

Her glazed eyes look over at me

"Remember you can't tell anyone what daddy does for you, especially your mom. It's our secret or daddy won't make you feel good anymore"

"No daddy. I won't tell anyone. I promise"

"That's my good girl", I tell her, "Are you sleepy?"

She nods, "Yeah daddy"

"Ok baby. Take a nap ok? I'll wake you up for dinner later"

"Mm ok daddy", she murmurs, her eyes already closed

Taking her blanket, I pull it over her then gleefully leave her room

Step one done

I'll make her my slut in no time

[tears0fsatan]

Please do some size difference with the bros, Male!MC is far too big for them (even under his belt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) nsfw HCs pls

𖥻 characters... lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor x m!reader [separate]

𖥻 genre... nsfw headcanons + drabbles

𖥻 warnings... nsfw!! taller amab mc! minors, ageless blogs and fem aligned will be blocked, dom!mc, mentioned public sex [lucifer&asmo&belphie oh my], edging [mammon], thigh riding [mammon&belphie], mentions of toys!! [mammon&satan], dacryphilia [levi to be expected really], a lil bit of pet play / roleplay ??? [satan.. i have no explanation], cockwarming! [levi&beel&belphie mm], mirror sex [asmo, again, to be expected], mentioned food play [beel, wow who'da thunk], a bit of degradation?, praise!!

𖥻 a.n... OH BOY OH BOY DO I LOVE THIS!!! ngl this whole concept has been PLAGUING my mind for a while now >:D though this did divulge into general nsfw hcs... i tried ㅠㅠ

… ♥︎ ?! lucifer

when he first saw you he was a little taken aback

 i mean, it's not everyday you see a demon, much less a human, bigger than his brother beelzebub

had no dirty thoughts about you being freakishly large until you cornered him in the HOL hallway (you didn't even mean to, you had been trying to ask him a question about your tasks for a couple of days now but he kept shrugging you off so you resorted to, essentially, kabedoning him)

my god did that set off fantasies he thought he had buried centuries ago

i beg of you, kabedon this demon every chance you get. he'll act like he's furious but the bright blush on his face and the shakiness in his voice says otherwise

hates to admit how much it turns him on when you hold him from behind

will Not let you sit him on your lap in front of anyone

but in private... he fucking loves it.

that being said, absolutely loves riding you

especially when he's on your lap because he can feel your broad chest against his back and your dick deliciously stretching him out

love love loves it when you degrade him and roughen him up a little

our lil sadist is also quite the masochist <3

you've felt his hole twitch when you called him a bitch in heat and boy do you love abusing that knowledge now

ok time for dick talk lol

he was ... a little intimidated at first (you'll never hear that from him though) he certainly wasn't expecting you to be lengthier than any other person he'd ever been with

but after enough prep ... hell he could not get enough of the feeling of you inside of him

demons, you fit him better than anyone, and he's taken diavolo before!

your dick fits so snug in his prideful lil hole <3

fucking against a wall was not something lucifer thought he'd enjoy but here we are.

first time it happened you were so horny you couldn't stop yourself from taking him in a supply closet at RAD

he whines so loud when you're fucking him rough against a wall, even louder when it's at RAD (he's ashamed that it's happened more than once but hell is the thrill intoxicating)

"fuck luci, i can't hold back. please, i know you want to." you rasped in his ear, your hands finding home on his hips as you pressed yourself into his back.

"mc, we're at RAD.." lucifer looked around, clearly flustered, worried that a student would find him in such a compromising state.

"can't you feel how needy i am for you?" you asked, pressing your hips further into his ass while kissing up and down his nape.

"mc!" lucifer yelped, taken aback at the mere thought of having sex on such prestigious grounds, "we are on school grounds 一 i expect you to be orderly."

you let out a playful whine, "are you telling me to be on my best behaviour, luci? are you sure i'm the one that should be told that when you've been grinding your hips back against mine like a bitch in heat?~♡"

… ♥︎ ?! mammon

lol don't think you'd have to be that big to tower over mammon but i'll lay low on the short king slander for now

loves how small you make him feel

loves being around you and taking up your space lolol

fuck personal space bro!

he clings onto your arm, will fling himself across your lap, makes you piggy back him (hey listen, it's not cus he wants to be near ya or experience what it's like to be taller okay! it's cus he needs to make sure yer under control from up there!)

feel like missionary and mating!! press!! are his favourite positions

likes missionary because he will literally cum untouched if you hold his wrists in one hand n grip his hip in your other :(((

mating press because it's so intimate and he thrives off being near you and your attention on him

has to feel you, will whine and beg just to touch you

he's just overall very whiny? and whimpers a lot even when you're just touching him :(

likes when you add 'my' before every pet name when referring to him

makes him feel so loved and special

we all know this greedy bastard has a praise kink.. its canon bro LOL

tell him he's a good boy while giving him a handjob!! NOW!!!

he loves!!!! how big your dick is

i just know he cried and mumbled how you couldn't possibly fit him when you guys first had sex

surprise!!! you managed it somehow

from time to time he'll worry that you won't fit, but you always prove him wrong

became such a cockslut lolol

DOES get cock drunk <333

won't ever admit to it though

... unless you edge it out of him

my god is he fucking loud when you edge him

says he hates it but don't let that fool you the second oldest is a huge masochist

edge him when he's been especially naughty

for example when he still uses your money to gamble even after continuously telling you he'll pay you back. hold his wrists in one hand while the other plays with his dick (maybe even use a toy if he's spent an absurd amount of money) and don't let up until he's a shaking, crying mess beneath you.

don't do it too often or else he might start getting out of line just to get one of your punishments <3

OR MAKE HIM RIDE YOUR THIGH AND DON'T LET HIM CUM MMM

"didn't i tell you? this isn't the first time it's happened, baby." you kept dragging your hand up and down his shaft, questioning him further, knowing full well every single word was going through one ear and out the next.

"mc! please let me cum! ple一please!" admist his crying, the demon's voice cracked in the middle of his sentence. while normally mammon would get embarrassed when his voice cracked, he was too distracted by your hand to realise.

"you promised me you wouldn't do it again." you tsked, your pace increasing for a short while before slowing down when he didn't reply, making you paused your ministrations.

the demon looked up in a panic, a flurry of tears falling down his face. "mc! i'm sorry! i promise i won't do it again! i mean it! just一 please! please let me cum!" mammon whined out, desperate to reach his high after all this time.

"you better not do it again or i won't be as kind." you picked up your pace again, finally giving what he wanted.

… ♥︎ ?! leviathan

he's always had a size kink try me.

found it through anime naturally

always wanted to be coddled and teased the way the short one usually is

didn't think it would ever happen since y'know, he's quite tall all things considered

you jus love shakin up his world don't ya

OKAY HEAR ME OUT,,, lets say you went into the kitchen to get a snack right. howeverrr, you see a sweet lil demon gettin something from one of the top cupboards. now.. the island is behind him which gives you the perfect opportunity to slide behind him, pressing him against the counter, grabbing his hips and whispering "'scuse me darl" as you go by, making sure to linger just a few moments more than necessary.

his reaction is tooth achingly sweet :((

he pauses before he realises what just happened and then he's out the door in a heartbeat

immediately runs up to his room because he popped a boner n is so embarrassed :(

he thought those things only happened in anime?!??!?!?!?!?

first time he saw your dick he nearly fainted lolol

i mean cmon now ... poor nerds a virgin okay, he's only ever seen the dicks from hentai and lets be real hentai cocks aren't the most pleasing things to view

cried when you first put it in

doesn't think he'll ever get used to how big you are no matter how much you prep and stretch him out <3

any pet name you call him will be returned with a hard clench from his fucked out hole lolol

massive praise kink too!

definitely thought you would be the one cockwarming him while he gamed but boy was he wrong

he gets so whiny and wanton when you tell him you'll only move if he wins that round but then that round turns into the next round... then the next

you keep telling him that over and over until he's crying and begging

"please, please mc! i 一 i won the game! see! please move!" leviathan cried out, trying so desperately to move his hips but you kept a tight grip.

"hmm~? you have been a good boy.. should i reward you now, hm?" you teased, ever so slightly grinding down the shaking demons ass onto you.

"yes! yes yes, i've been a good boy! please-please let me move!" levi begged, letting out such sweet and desperate noises it almost made you want to tease him more. but, you were a forgiving human. so you relented, he did technically earn his reward.

… ♥︎ ?! satan

honestly probably just as pervy as levi

has read many homoerotic novels and found himself fantasising as the smaller lover than the big one

quickly disregarded those thoughts until you came along hubba hubba

you were like a character from one of his books come to life

he wasn't about to let this opportunity escape his grasp

doesn't show it but is very flustered when you subtly remind him of the height difference between the two of you

ESPECIALLY when you use your height to tease him

he'll act like he's pissed but really fucking enjoys it

he loves the thrill and chase of teasing

am i insinuating he's a bit of a brat?? mayhaps.

PLEASEEE call him a little kitten. bro will cum untouched.

LOVES WHEN YOU LEAVE MARKS ON HIM!!! it pisses off lucifer when you mark him up somewhere visible and satan relishes in lucifers gloom

i think he'd really like being tied up.......

maybe not full on bondage but restrict his hands from touching you probably gets him a lil riled up

choked on his own spit when he first saw your cock

you definitely escaped from a book

nearly broke up with you because he genuinely believed you wouldn't be able to get in him without ripping him in half

prep him enough and stretch him out with various buttplugs and toyys and you'll be good to go!!

methinks he would like sucking you off while wearing cat ears or some shit.... it's so degrading and filthy and he lives for it.

LIKE IMAGINE he's on his knees, you can see the tip of the tail from his butt plug peaking out from behind him, he has a matching set of ears that sit atop of his head, his face is beet red and his hands are trying to hide his hard cock

probably has a secret collection of collars (some with bells too!) and leashes amongst his butt plugs lolol

your dick is so big he had so much trouble wrapping his lips around you at first :(

has to use his fingers because he just can't take all of you in his mouth

kinda gets off to the stretch every time you put it in.. there's something so addicting to it? (he feels like your dick moulds his hole so he can only take you and no one else)

the avatar of wrath sat on his knees, staring up expectedly at you, or more so, your dick. if his tail were real, there was no doubt it would be flicking back and forth, oh so prettily.

you cooed and stroked his hair, "you wanna suck me off, hmm kitten?"

the demon didn't reply verbally, choosing to nuzzle the hand that rested on his cheek and blinking his eyes up at you. his reaction was all you needed to know, but you wanted to hear it from him directly.

"you gotta use your words, baby." you reminded softly, your hand leaving his face. he chased after your hand, looking as if he were holding back a whine.

"yes, i wanna suck your... dick." satan stumbled over his words, feeling so beyond shameful as his current behaviour was a huge contrast to his usual poised manner.

"that's a good boy~"

… ♥︎ ?! asmodeus

oh i just know he had the nastiest, dirtiest, absolutely foulest thoughts the moment he laid eyes on you

he knew you would be blessed down there

i think he'd have a small thing for your shoulders?? i feel like he'd be enamoured with how large your build is and tends to hold onto your shoulders a lot

he loves touching you, holding you, anything to keep you close to him

he just wants to touch and see and all his senses to be filled by you (probably has something to do with how your embrace makes him forget about all his big responsibilities as the avatar of lust, he can just focus on you and your loving hold)

he will press himself against you regardless of what position you've put him in

adores being called doll, the way it rolls off your tongue can (and has) made him pop one

prefers to be in between your legs with his back to your chest in front of a mirror

god he gets so needy when you tease him in front of a mirror

because you're sitting behind him and he can see just how much larger you are compared to him and hell he can't control himself

if u wanna punish him... blindfold him n press him against the mirror while dirty talking. bro. BRO.

whines real loud if you tell him how pretty he is and how much of a shame it is he can't see omg

will literally beg

TEASES YOU IN PUBLIC!!!!

always grinds on you at parties

one time he teased you by grinding on some lowly succubus so naturally you fucked his brains out in the bathroom <3

has fondled you under the table at restaurants and RAD

i mean, it always gets you to fuck him somewhere by the end of the night, so why not have a little fun and rile you up?

had literal heart eyes when he first saw your dick lololol (don't ask how, he's THE asmodeus bro, anything is possible with him)

has had many lovers who were bigger than him but none of them filled him up better than you.

you stretch him out in all the right ways and he love love loves it!!

has declared you his favourite dick owner!

i mean, why go to other people when you satisfy him better than anyone he's ever fucked (and that says a lot coming from the literal avatar of lust)

"asmo baby," you cooed, thrusting upwards knowing you were hitting him in the spot he loved the most, "you look so pretty right now."

your praise only made the demon moan louder, you were sure the entire neighbourhood could hear him at this point.

you knew he wanted to give back a smart reply, but you thrusted before he got the opportunity. it resulted in asmodeus releasing the loudest, wanton moan you've ever heard.

"fuck 一 mc 一 s-shit 一 i wanna see!" the demon whined, trying to wiggle his hands out of your grasp to, you assume, take off the blindfold.

"i told you no, my little minx. don't make me use a ballgag next time~" you teased, though you did linger on the idea. from the twitch of asmodeus' dick, you could tell he liked the thought too.

… ♥︎ ?! beelzebub

was very surprised when he first saw you, so much so that he followed you around because he's never seen a demon, let alone a human, as large as you

he was curious okay!!!

at first it was because he wanted to know how much you ate to be so gigantic

but then.... he started feeling things when he saw the way you ate certain things (SHUT UP CLASSIC BANANA PENIS COMPARISON OKAY)

couldn't help but feel flustered when he hugged you because that was the first time he'd ever felt enveloped? he felt so secure in your arms (foreshadowing)

LISTEN OK LISTEN THIS MAN SECRETLY LOVES BEING BABIED

yes, he loves being the biggest, strongest demon lord who looks after his brothers but he likes being cared for too

while on topic, he really gets off to you simply calling him little one

its so foreign to him but when you call him that with your hand wrapped around his dick?? oh my demon lord.

probably also likes being called honey, sweets, peach anything of that sort really

is a little uncomfortable with being the bottom so expect it to not happen often

i totally see him being a service sub who's eager to please

like you'll sit him on your lap and jerk the both of you off but he gets so desperate because you feel so nice against him he can't stop himself from grinding on you

is open to try new things though!! anything to please you!!

because of that... you've definitely done something with food

hmm.. i wonder what happened the night after you and beel made a mess of belphie's cream puff in the kitchen~

safe to say, you smelled like chocolate and whipped cream for the next few days and who would beelzebub be if he didn't savour it? you were practically a snack made for him and you exploited that <3

was a little surprised with how big you were and it took him some time to get used to you (geez he didn't know you humans could pack something so big)

has to use his hands to palm the rest of your cock while he tries to take you in his mouth

BRO he loves sucking your dick

reminds him of a giant lollypop n it can keep him going for hours (use that to your advantage <3)

like cmon now thats to be expected from the avatar of gluttony

more than happy to sit underneath your desk with his mouth on your length while you do your homework

"you're doing so well, baby." you cooed without looking down at your demon, feeling his moan reverberate through your dick, using everything in your power to not fuck his face. this assignment was due tomorrow and while you loved playing with beelzebub, you couldn't risk your grades.

... until the avatar of gluttony decided that he wanted your attention and sucked your tip while playing with you balls, causing you to let out a loud moan. you gave a warning look to beelzebub, though you knew, regretfully, your homework wouldn't be the center of attention tonight.

… ♥︎ ?! belphegor

thought you were a hallucination at first

i mean, what the fuck are you why are you so massive

not to mention that you're fucking human??????!?!?

spent all his time thinking about what he'd do to you when he finally gets released (some thoughts definitely made him do a double take and get angry with himself, no matter how jaw dropping-ly hunky you were, you were still a human regardless)

then he got to know you and well.. those types of thoughts were more than welcome LMFAO

ohoho he had so many plans

literally yelped when he first saw your dick

again, are you fucking sure you're human???????

ain't no way... you have to be part elephant or something right???

don't worry, you assured him you were 100% human that night <3

after that night he became so fucking needy lolol

but also a huge, shameless brat

will tease you in public because he knows you'll put him in his place when you two get home

like for example, if he's sitting on your lap in public (be it he wanted a comfortable place to nap or just purely wanted to mark his territory) will eventually grind on you

he'll also say the freakiest, most outta pocket shit out in public because he loves seeing your reaction

also likes teasing you in front of lucifer! it pisses his older brother off and it entertains the shit out of him

also knows he can get away with it a lot because he could always use "being sleepy" as an excuse

he's so whiny when you barely touch him :(

likes cuddling you to sleep .... but more often than not it leads to morning sex lolol

also very clingy!!

will wanna cockwarm you while you do work because he wants to be close to you (always says it's because he wants to catch up on missed time but really you just feel so comfortable and warm and the perfect place to rest in)

you will find him cockwarming you when you wake up, not that you have anything to complain about

belphegor shot you an 'innocent' smile as he walked away from you like he didn't just describe how he was going to milk you until dawn.

you grit teeth and let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and not take him in the nearest alleyway. before the demon could get away, you pulled him by the arm and kept a tight grip on your shoulder.

"you should know better than to wind me up in public." you spat out, your voice barely above a hushed whisper. if his giggle was anything to go by, you guessed he was feeling a little excited by your reaction.

"just wait." you gave him a firm warning before letting go of his arm. you knew you were only waltzing into his little game, but you'd be a fool to admit you didn't enjoy playing as well.

© 2022 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t repost, modify or translate my works anywhere!

[j-nope-not-today]

hello, i'm new to your blog. really love how you write the turtles :D may i request a tmnt x reader (separate) for how the boy would react to reader asking them to let them sit on their shoulders because they're tired of walking or something? bonus points if they're still in the crushing/pining phase so they're all nervous hehe thank you and here's some water and a snack! 🥤🥐

TMNT reaction to crush asking to be carried.

A/n: Thanks so much for requesting! I hope you enjoy this and thank you for the water and snack!

Raphael

You decided you would tag along with Raph on his patrol.

Which he had no objections too!

But halfway through it you began to tap out.

Too much walking was your constant complaint.

Along with how tired you were and how your legs hurt.

And he wanted to offer up that he could carry you but didn't want to be weird.

So he just patted your back and told you it was only a little bit more.

But you insisted he carried you

And he got all shy and nervous

He kinda just picked you up bridal style and was like okay let's go.

He finished his patrol...he didn't have too he just wanted to hold you for a little longer.

He definitely told Mikey all about it.

But Mikey doesn't do secrets very well so he went and told you.

Let's just say you and Raphael had a lot to talk about.

Leonardo

He asked if you wanted to go on his patrol with him

And who were you to say no to your favorite turtle?

So you said yes and he immediately took the longest route he could.

He wanted as much timw with you as possible but your poor, tired legs couldn't keep up.

He noticed you were walking slower..lagging behind.

So he just picked you up.

Which of course startled you. He apologized and kept on keeping on.

So you just enjoyed the ride and the conversation.

Of course his brothers absolutely made fun of him when you two got back

That's when you figured out a certain someone's got a crush.

Donatello

He tried to sneak out to his patrol, but you noticed and stopped him.

He got all nervous and blushy when you asked to go with

But he didn't say no!

So there you two were. Walking together..talking..Donnie literally kept tripping over everything bc he couldn't stop staring at you

Eventually your legs grew too tired.

Donnie was too tall and liked to speed walk so you were practically running to keep up.

So with much stuttering he agreed to carry you back.

It didn't take a genius to work out that he liked you and of course once you got back

You pulled him to his lab to discuss the new information you had discovered

Michelangelo

You got dragged to go on patrol with him

He was having so much fun hanging out with you he didn't want it to stop.

Of course you weren't able to keep up with him though

He was running around and you were definitely not in the mood to run with him

So he compromised with you and carried you the whole time.

It was pretty fun.

Of course he almost dropped you twice, but that's bc he wouldn't slow down.

But all in all it was an absolute blast

When you got back you both had to deal with his brothers who disagreed with him taking you

You were a distraction you discovered and had a nice long talk with Mikey about his feelings.

[sleepingdeath-light]

preserving heat ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (01/05/23)

word count ; 1362

content ; threesome, stomach bulging, slim reader, double penetration

fandom ; cookie run

pairing ; milk cookie x male reader x purple yam cookie

read also on ; ao3

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

You’d spent the better part of the evening huddled in your sleeping bag with your thickest blanket tucked up to your chin, too cold to do anything but fester in the pitiful “warmth” provided by your tent. Though the thin fabric barrier between yourself and the outside world did little to muffle the chattering of your teeth and your incessant shuffling about as you tried, in vain, to find a position that would provide you some minimal amount of additional heat to where you were a few seconds before.

It didn’t take long for these sounds to start grating on Purple Yam Cookie, the small amount of patience he still managed to cling onto being quickly eroded by your not-as-quiet-as-intended personal struggle against the elements. And, in order to prevent the other man from becoming either homicidal or suicidal, Milk Cookie popped his head in your tent and provided a solution that had your mouth falling agape and Purple Yam looking more startled than angry.

A threesome.

‘We,’ he gestured between himself and his barbarian partner, ‘are much, well, larger than you and give off way more body heat as a result. The close proximity and movement should warm you up and wear you out, meaning that you can get to sleep and you,’ he looked pointedly at Purple Yam Cookie, ‘don’t have to listen to him shuffling around anymore. It only makes sense,’

When he didn’t receive any response beyond silent, confused staring, he faltered and flushed. Much quieter and unsure of himself when he spoke up again.

‘Or we could find another solution, I suppose,’

‘I mean I’m fine with it,’ you managed, voice coming out in a higher pitch than intended, coughing into your fist before continuing, ‘but I don’t think we even have the right things to do it safely. Like we don’t even have lube -’

‘We do actually,’ Purple Yam interrupted, having finally found his voice, ‘bought it back in Hollyberry, thought it’d come in handy,’

‘Oh.’

‘Then we’re all up for it?’ Milk continued, smiling broadly when two confirmations followed, ‘Excellent! Now, I’ll go fetch the lubricant…’

And that’s when the most interesting fuck of your life started.

————

The position you found yourself in was compromising to say the very least: Milk Cookie was in front of you, large warm hands grasping at your thighs and helping you wrap them around his waist; Purple Yam Cookie was behind you, calloused and scarred hands playing with your nipples and pressing his broad chest against your back; you were sandwiched between them, one hand resting on Milk’s chest and the other reaching behind you to grasp at Purple Yam’s shoulder, steadying yourself as you adjusted to the feeling of being so filled. Of having two large, throbbing cocks stuffed into your ass, mercifully still as you gasped and whimpered and adjusted your position to help minimise the ache and strain of it all.

After a few minutes of these minor alterations, the pain had finally settled enough for you to be okay with them moving; a hum that sounded closer to a whimper and a nod that you were just about able to manage. Though, thankfully, that was all they needed.

The feeling of the two of them moving inside of you was strange to say the least. Pleasurable and enjoyable, sure, but it was far from coordinated or synchronised.

Milk Cookie was much more gentle and cautious in his movements, gradually pulling out until just the tip of his cock was inside of you before slowly pushing back in, only stopping when he was fully sheathed inside of you. Calculating enough to watch your expressions and gauge where your p-spot was in order to try and catch it with every thrust and smiling proudly every time you whimpered or moaned or dug your nails further into the pale skin of his chest.

Purple Yam Cookie, meanwhile, was much harsher in his treatment — fucking rather than loving, pounding rather than thrusting and just generally doing everything he could to make a mess of you. His calloused hands were groping at your stomach and chest, toying with your nipples as he relentlessly slammed his hips against yours — his pace shallow and quick and deliciously rough. So harsh that every collision had your body being sent crashing forwards into Milk Cookie’s chest and leaving you unable to do anything but cry out and cling to the two men you were trapped between.

Amongst all of the chaos, you found your eyes drifting between Milk Cookie’s focused expression and your stomach. Specifically, the prominent, twin bulges that moved and slid against each other in time with the thrusts of the two men inside of you — filling you so substantially that you could see them even from the outside for how big they were.

The thought made your head spin and your dick throb.

An ache that was compounded by the practically pornographic sounds that were escaping the men on either side of you: the bitten back grunts and moans that Milk Cookie was trying to muffle by biting his lips; the unrelenting, unabashed moans and grunts that were freely escaping Purple Yam Cookie; the sound of skin slapping against skin combined with the wet sloshing of the lubricant as they slid in and out of your needy asshole. It was all too much and yet, somehow, not enough.

The air was cold but by now you were boiling, inside and out. Veins heated by the white hot pleasure that was flowing through them like a rich liquor. The skin on your back on fire from the overwhelming body heat of the warrior that was pressed so tightly against you that you could feel his heartbeat thrumming against your shoulders — and trace the outline of every scar that was digging into your skin. Your lungs were burning, desperate for air as you continued to moan and whimper and groan and grunt despite yourself — overwhelmed by all of the pleasure you were experiencing.

Overwhelmed until you were given that final push in the form of a well timed brush of Milk Cookie’s pelvis against your neglected cock, and fell over the edge of climax. Falling with a mind filled with thoughts in the shapes of thick cocks and wandering hands, with their moans and grunts and groans echoing repeatedly — the erotic backdrop to your orgasm. Your heart was racing, your lungs were burning, your vision was filled with splotches and blurs of white light, and you were too far gone to do anything but moan and cry out and let out damn-near-incoherent pleas for more.

And it was your climax — and the sounds you made and the way you looked — that proved to be the undoing of the other two men.

Purple Yam came first: burying himself in you entirely and filling your ass with his cum as he finished with a startlingly loud cry of ‘fuck’. His grip, which had since moved down to your sides, became bruising and his head fell forwards to rest on top of yours — with you just about able to see his dreads falling over your shoulders in the corners of your eyes.

Then went Milk Cookie, who came with a final stuttering thrust and a whimper that sounded close to a prayed before his head fell back and his mouth fell open. Not bothering to pull out and just letting the mixture of his and Purple Yam’s seed slowly seep out of your hole — onto them and you and the floor.

The three of you stayed like that for a while, unmoving and just basking in the afterglow as you all collectively came down from your highs. Catching your breath, waiting for your trembling limbs to stabilise so you didn’t fall and revelling in the feeling of being full (or filling you) until their dicks were too soft and they were forced to pull out and help you lay back down.

You were exhausted and covered in a mixture of cum and sweat — but, as good as their word, they had helped you warm up. But, either way, you couldn’t find it in you to complain.

[wri0thesley]

see now i’m just imagining thoma getting flustered and having to go jack it in the nearest closet,,, all cause the cute little maid for the clan smiled at him from across the room

welcome to the nat agenda of 'thoma just doesn't get any'. he's the real victim of my blog. first it's because of ayato, now it's this--

cw: not sfw, minors dni. guilty pining, masturbation, fingering, someone other than thoma gets some. power dynamics (reader is a maid in the household and of lesser standing than any other character). reader is afab and wears a maid uniform with a skirt but no other gendered terms are used.

Thoma knows he shouldn’t be doing this.

If his timekeeping is correct - and the housekeeper of the Kamisato Clan prides himself on this being the case - he ought to be in the kitchen right now, stirring a bowl of soup. Or maybe in the entrance hall, sweeping the leaves that came in with the Young Master when he’d finally returned from a duty visit to Guuji Yae of the Narukami Shrine--

Whichever it is, he certainly shouldn’t be in one of the many supply closets in the estate, his forehead pressed against the cool wall whilst mops and buckets and sweeping brushes vie with him for space and are constantly knocked about by his elbow. His elbow, of course, moving so erratically due to the fact that his hand is currently wrapped around his very hard cock as he imagines you in there with him. 

It was such a foolish little thing!

You’d been speaking to his Lady, bent in close as you poured her some tea into one of the expensive fancy teacups that were sent as a gift (or bribe) - and she’d seen him and looked up, greeted him with a warm smile and asked him to sit down with her for a moment and enjoy the peace and quiet. That was all very well! But you’d looked up too, and your pretty eyes had locked onto Thoma’s, and you’d given him the sweetest most heart-stopping smile that he’d ever had the good fortune to lay eyes on.

“Would you like me to pour you a cup too, Master Thoma?” You’d asked him, so sweetly, the title dropping from your lips as if it were totally natural and not improper. Ayaka had giggled, of course - but Thoma had found that the smile and the twinkle in your eye and the softness of your voice had all conspired against him, and if he didn’t make a hasty exit you were going to notice how stiffly the fabric of his trousers was stretched at his crotch.

So he’d stumbled over an excuse and fled the scene, hearing you and Ayaka talking quietly about how in a rush he’d seemed - and before he could be caught in such a compromising position by anyone else, he’d barreled himself into the closest supply closet and fumbled with his belt. 

Oh, you’re so lovely.

Thoma had known it from the moment he’d laid eyes on you; he’d seen the soft smile and the pretty eyes, heard the lilt of your voice and seen the shape of your mouth, and knew that you were going to cause trouble for him. He’s normally very good at not getting distracted from his work - but you had been so eager to help! So sweet! You showered him with praise whenever you saw him, were grateful and happy and smiled for him when he brought you a treat from in town (as he would for anyone, he tells himself, as if he doesn’t specifically look for things that he thinks you’d like). You’d started haunting his every thought.

And Archons, were you pretty - Archons, did he fantasise about the softness of your thighs and the flutter of your lashes and how lovely your voice would sound pitching with pleasure. Even now, his mind was getting carried away with such thoughts, as he pumped his cock into his fist and imagined it was something else.

What would he prefer, first?

That mouth, that always smiled at him so sweetly? That devoured his sweet treats and licked sugar from your lips, that tongue that poked out sometimes when you were on your knees and scrubbing at the floor like a good little maid? Oh, he bets it would be warm in there; your tongue like velvet as it licked across his slit, drool slipping from the corner of your lips as your head bobbed on it. He imagines your cheeks full, the wideness of your eyes as you worked yourself up and down his shaft.

He feels himself twitch in his own grip; rakes his thumb over the slit of his cock, feeling the knots in his stomach get tighter.

Oh, your mouth would be lovely - but, too, your sex . . .

He can barely believe he has the guts to think about it, but here he is - in the supply closet, thinking about how tight and wet and slick you would be as he worked his cock inside of your cunt. He’d be gentle with you - Thoma wants to be gentle with you, wants to have you all bare and quivering and pleasure-soaked before him. He wants to make you come before he comes (he imagines your mouth in an ‘o’ of ecstasy and just how lovely your voice would sound) - and most of all, Archons, he wants to come inside of you. 

He thinks about the two of you coming together; mimics what he imagines you would feel like by varying his grip, thinking of your channel pulsating around him. He imagines your nails digging into his shoulders and your voice crying out (“Thoma, please ‘s too much, Thoma, I’m g-going to--”).

And the knots in his stomach are untangled all at once, heat spreading from his stomach to his toes and every other extremity he has as his cock twitches and spills pearly ropes of his release all over his knuckles as Thoma bites back the gasp of your name.

Aftershocks of pleasure ripple through him as the warmth of his peak settles.

It takes a little while for him to come down from the high; to drift dreamily back to Teyvat and remember where he is and what he’s doing. 

He grimaces in distaste, wiping his come-covered hand on the closest mop to him as he tucks his softening cock back inside of his trousers. Now that the rush and the heat have gone from him, he cannot help but feel a little grimy that he needed to lock himself in here after something so simple as a smile.

This is getting out of hand, he thinks to himself, as he lets himself out of the closet and runs his other hand through the flop of his fair hair. He’s going to have to do something about it. As soon as he’s washed his hand, he’s going to find you. He’s going to ask you on a date, he tells himself firmly. 

This has gone on long enough. 

He screws all of his courage to the sticking place; takes a deep breath and puts a smile on his face as he walks towards the nearest washroom - a determination in his stride that certainly wasn’t there when he scurried shamedly away from his Lady. 

Wait. 

That . . . that’s your voice, isn’t it? From the next corridor? Your voice, breathless and pitching and a little flustered. Thoma leans in closer; peers just around the corner, trying not to let himself be seen - and his heart sinks to his knees.

“My Lord,” you’re saying to Ayato, breathless, your head tilted up towards him. Ayato has one hand on the wall caging you in, a perfectly calm and serene smile on his face as always - but there’s a flush to his cheeks, a brightness to his eyes. The other gloved hand is out of sight, but Thoma realises that the skirt of your uniform is pushed up, and your own eyes are hazy. 

“I-- o-oh, My Lord--”

“I can’t help myself,” Ayato purrs at you, and now Thoma can see the hint of his forearm, methodically pumping into something. “You’re simply too hard to resist. But . . . if you’re that afraid of being caught - well, if you’ll oblige me with a kiss, little maid . . . perhaps I’ll wait until later.”

You whimper and arch your back, stretching towards him for the kiss - and Ayato does not disappoint, a wet noise echoing through the hallway as he pulls his hand from somewhere and cradles your pretty cheeks in that hand to kiss you. 

The kiss seems to stretch on forever. Thoma feels like he’s rooted to the spot, watching Ayato’s mouth pressed hot against yours - watching as his Master tugs at that pretty lower lip that so entrances Thoma, makes a soft hum of pleasure at his thorough capture of you. When Ayato pulls back, he smiles at you and pats your cheek--

“Run along now,” he purrs. “I’ll see you in my bed-chambers later.”

“Y-yes, My Lord!” You gasp out, and you tug at your own skirts and do a cute little skip-rush away that makes Thoma’s heart ache.

(He realises with horror that he’s hard again; that watching you kiss Ayato, seeing the hidden promise of what was probably Ayato’s fingers fucking into you had been enough to have his cock stirring.)

Ayato raises one elegant thumb to the corner of his mouth to wipe at it, and then, amused, throws out into the corridor;

“My, my, Thoma. I never took you for a voyeur.”

[hawkins-losers]

can you do a imagine where the reader is bisexual and is dating robin and her best friend is eddie. She hasn’t come out to eddie so when he stops by her house unannounced he finds her getting hot and steamy with robin :’)

-

You tongue swiped over Robin's cherry flavored lips, asking for access and deepening the kiss, as one of your hands wandered to her belt and pulled her plaid shirt out of her pants. She let you, but you could feel her tense under your hands and holding back.

Breaking the kiss, you pulled back. ‘’What is it? Do you not want to make out? We can watch a movie if you want-’’

‘’No. That’s not…’’ Robin shook her head, her eyes falling on the door behind you as she bit her lip, a sign of anxiety. 

While she was comfortable with her sexuality, the idea of your mom walking in and catching you in a compromising position on her couch was causing a blockage in her brain.

You followed her eyes and understood her train of thoughts. ‘’My mom is at work until late. You don’t have to worry about anyone interrupting,’’ you explained, reassuring her and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Robin released a breath and nodded, her worries now appeased.

‘’Should we get back to where we were?’’ you asked.

In response, she closed the space between you and smacked her lips on yours, surprising you with a soaring kiss.

Minutes later, your shirt was off and Robin’s button up was opened and hanging off her shoulders as lips and hands traveled each other's bodies, taking advantage of your mother's absence.

Robin's slim fingers were about to unhook your bra when the door burst open and Eddie, your neighbor and best friend, walked in your trailer unannounced, ranting about the new Metallica song he had learned on guitar.

His voice startled you both, making you jump and turn your heads toward the door. Seeing Eddie in the entryway, Robin’s eyes rounded like saucers, quickly grabbing a cushion to cover herself as her cheeks flamed red. She wasn’t naked, but she didn’t want Eddie to see her nipples poking through her bra.

Unlike her, you weren't too bothered by that. It would've been a different story if you had been naked and in the middle of something, but you hadn’t been. It was a close shot though.

‘’Jesus fuck, Munson, can’t you knock?’’ you lashed out at him, glaring daggers in Eddie’s direction.

Eddie wasn’t listening though. ‘’Eh…since when is that happening?’’ He pointed between you and Robin, confused but not judging.

‘’A few weeks,’’ you replied, only now realizing that you hadn't told him about your attraction to girls - and boys.

You felt Robin’s foot poke your thigh and glanced at her. She was looking at you, her blue eyes begging you to make Eddie leave.

‘’Look, Eddie, can we talk about this later? You’re making Robin uncomfortable.’’

To your surprise, he nodded. ‘’I’d tell you to use protection, but that not how it works for girls so-’’

You groaned and grabbed the other cushion on the couch, throwing it at him. ‘’Oh my god, get out!’’

-

Taglist: @broadway-or-noway @violetsleftfist @thelaststraw3  @cursedandromedablack  @Slashersimpfor  @savagejane1   @wh0reforbucknasty   @eddiemunson-slut   @slvdsjjk  @hehehehannahthings  @dreamdancers-world  @grace-loux  @iamharrystyleslover  @matildavol6  @Original_babababoo  @eddiemunsonbby  @notbeforelong  @lexi-2004 @violetrainbow412-blog  @tatespillows  @alwayslexii  @lilygreennn   @milkiane  @imahomeslice  @bunnygrl16 @cwritesforfun @marauders3rawh0re  @your-mom21 @parkersmyth @voguesir @milkiane @andrewgarfields-girlfriend @lilygreennn @alexxavicry @charlie-chick  @wandamaximoffs-deadchild  @horrorstreet  @rmeddar123  @Pastel-abyss-x @lil-tracys  @lanalanabanana @Sinclairlust  @luvmybbies  @chloepricesgrafitimarker  @inluvweddiemunson   @i-like-trains  

Robin Buckley taglist: @uhidklol-26 @prettyplant0   @ran-rap   @eddiemvunsongf    @batorchids222  @scarlet-kazuha  @saphmoth  @uhidklol-26  @you-makeme-crazier-blog  @spongebob-in-the-upsidedown  @swiftbyul  @xenon54xe  @tribute-101  @starstruckspring  @whyamihere2673  @moonlight-imagines  @p40l44 @moonlight-imagines   @ofherscarlettwitchways  @pastelbabygirl19 @eddiemunsonbby  @bitterbyfletcher @i-could-be-lonely-with-you @chrisxevans-seb @robinbuckleyluvr @lol-lol—idk @satinselenite  @missmaxmayfield  @soph69420world @nancewheelersworld  @nluvwitheddiemunson @psychoticauthor @amelies-a-simp  @stephylovesmayahawke  

[justanamesstuff]

All I Need

Blurb based on this request.

A/N: First, thanks 💗 anon for requesting this...can't say I had fun writing it, but it was interesting for sure. Secondly, this is about the morning of Chapter 9 of All I Need. Thank you for reading ♥

Warnings: ANGST. typos.

Word count: 1k

Blog MASTERLIST

Matty woke up groaning loud. The light coming from behind the curtains hurting his eyes. He rubbed them with too much force for a simple action. 

Y/n. Amelia.

His first thoughts circled around them immediately. The heavy feeling that he carried during those two weeks still there, inside his heart, trying to break him little by little. 

'What were they up to? Did they miss me?'

Amelia for sure, Matty still could hear her little cries calling for him. 

Did Y/n missed him? Because all he did every single minute of his day was missing her, missing having her inside his arms. 

Matty rolled to his side, trying to get out of the bed. His body was heavy, he was tired in every possible sense of the word. He wanted to go home, even though the sense of responsibility and compromise with the fans was stronger.

The reflection in the mirror looked back at him. The frontman let himself lean forward, almost touching the mirror with his forehead. He stared at his own face. 

Matty glanced around his pale skin, the bags under his eyes, avoiding his eyes. He couldn’t look there, not yet. 

His eyes danced around his sideburns and wrinkles around his eyes. Matty didn’t worry about being older, he'd lost interested on pitying himself for it a long time ago. Even when he fully knew that, he wished and hoped to slow it down. He wanted to grow older enough to witness his little daughter grow to the beautiful grown-up he knew Amelia was going to be. He wanted more kids with Y/n, as he told her. Seeing her belly grow with his baby again, feeling their kid kicking full of life, and then finally meeting them. Matty prayed to a God he didn’t believe to give him time.

When his eyes and its reflection encountered through the mirror, Matty’s eyes watered. 

A knock on his door startled him. Matty shook his face, getting rid of his thoughts crossing his mind for a minute. He went to open the door, only wearing his black boxers. Matty hid his almost naked form with it, finding Mark at the other side.

“Morning.” he greeted him.

“Hi, Mark.” 

“You weren’t answering your phone, we’re leaving in an hour, okay?” Matty fixed his sight on the floor, avoiding Mark’s scrutiny. 

“Sorry.” he mumbled. “Okay.” 

“You alright?” 

Matty was so exhausted to hear the question for the hundred time in only 24 hours. He knew they meant good, but it was driving him insane. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Matty reassured him. “‘m just tired and ready to go home.”

“Same, mate. Same.” Mark gifted him half a smile.

“‘kay, going to get ready.” Matty signalled with his hand pointing behind him.

Mark left without one more word. Matty thanked him in silence for it.

His phone. He forgot the thing on purpose, the urge to call home every single minute was strong. When you added the bad phone calls they had been on, Matty grew even more frustrated. Amelia made her best to communicate how against she was for Matty going away for so long. The little girl wanted to talk with him, but something inside her kept her crying and whining the whole time. It broke Y/n and Matty’s hearts. Amelia’s father didn’t want to inflict more suffering. 

Matty checked if Y/n texted him. Nothing. His stomach flopped. He tried to reason with himself about all the work Y/n had while taking care of Amelia to be texting him none stop.

The singer stared at the screen. Last message was his, a ‘good night. I love you’ after a picture of a very fast asleep Amelia inside her crib. Y/n replied with a heart and nothing more. 

He was sure she loved him, it couldn’t be another way. Matty felt it, he was sure. Even though the anxiety infecting his mind. What if she was talking with some boy already? Couldn’t be, but what if…

Matty locked his phone. 

He opened his suitcase laying on the floor closer to the bed. Never was the type of person to hang his clothes in the closet of the room. It was a waste of time when he only stayed in each for maximum two days. 

Matty rummaged inside the mass of clothes. Finding a simple t-shirt and a pair of light jeans. The idea of dressing like ‘trumanblack’ that day only wore him out. Taking the jeans out, the blue hoodie –Y/n liked to steal – stared back at him. Matty instantly grabbed it, lifting his eyes towards his phone at the other side of the room charging.

No sounds.

He sighed, putting the hoodie on. No matter how many times he had worn it, the thing smelled like home, like her. Matty tried to retain his tears. 

Ping!

Matty never ran faster in his life, feeling pathetic for it. George was hurrying him in the group chat. He sent him a selfie with a characteristic sign with only one finger up. 

Another notification appeared at the top of the screen. 

Y/n: Morning!

Y/n: Good luck today, we miss you 🥺😘

Matty stayed frozen in his place. He didn’t know how he was going to survive until the next day to see them. 

Matty: Hi, baby x

Matty: I miss you like crazy. 

He tapped his foot on the floor, staring at the ‘typing’.

Y/n: One more and you’re coming home, Matty.

Matty smiled. 

Matty: this is pure torture.

Y/n: you can do it!

Matty: not so sure 😶

Y/n: enjoy your time with the boys and the fans, okay? 

Matty: I’ll try. Gotta go, I love you x

Y/n: 😘💕

‘She loves me, she loves me’, Matty repeated for himself, leaving the device inside his pocket. He reached for his essentials items and walked towards the door.

He wished the day to end already, and to be back home with his girls. 

[borderlinereminders]

I messed up earlier. And I want to talk about that a little because I post a lot about recovery on my blog but I seldom post about the hiccups during it.

I got triggered earlier by something not my partner’s fault and lashed out at him. It wasn’t okay that I did that. He didn’t deserve it. My emotions were so strong and I didn’t even think about my coping skills.

It worked out okay in the end for a couple reasons. The main one being that him and I have talked extensively about what to do when I’m triggered. While he had his own feelings, he knew that the best thing to do for both of us was show me compassion (please note that it’s really valid to walk away from someone lashing out at you. This is just what works for us personally.)

He knows that him hugging me tightly usually makes me stop getting angry and I start crying in his arms instead. Sometimes his feelings of anger are triggered and in those cases, he walks away from me and comes back to hug me once he’s been able to calm down.

Once I’m calm, I apologize. “I’m really sorry I lashed out at you. You didn’t deserve that from me.”

Then we talk about his feelings a bit, and mine. He gets to say his piece, respectfully without attacking me. He knows that when that trigger response happens, I don’t feel in control. It feels like I’m watching my body from the outside. It’s not an excuse but we’ve talked a lot about it because it helps him better understand.

We then talk about how to avoid this in the future whether that’s how to avoid my trigger or what sort of coping skills I can work on to do better. Because part of apologizing is working to do better. It wouldn’t be okay for me to just apologize, not work on improving, and do it again and apologize, etc.

It would be valid if he needed space. It would be valid if he wasn’t ready to let it go. But over time, we’ve figured out how to navigate conflict together.

I’m sharing this for two reasons despite feeling anxious about putting this online (this usually opens me up to getting attacked but I think it’s important to share).

1) I’m not perfect. No one is. We mess up sometimes and it’s important to hold ourselves accountable but that doesn’t mean we beat ourselves up. Please don’t take this as me saying it’s okay to lash out at people. Because it’s not. But most people slip up and do this and it’s important to know how to navigate this. Please don’t beat yourself up forever. In fact, that isn’t usually helpful. Working on how to change things for the future and learning from the mistakes is a much better use of energy.

2) Communicating with your partner (or friend, etc) in advance about your needs and their needs and how to handle situations like these in the future can be key. Even after communicating, we adjusted things as this stuff came up and we seem to have worked out a good system. I’m not saying my system is the right one. I’m saying to find a system that works for you. I’m just sharing my example but everyone is different. Maybe your partner needs to walk away but it makes you feel rejected. Maybe you compromise by coming up with a “pause” word that signifies the conversation isn’t over, and the relationship isn’t, but you’re taking a breather (like a safeword for arguments). There are a lot of potential things you can plan for. (It sounds silly - but I recommend roleplaying them out to get them in your head because it’s harder to remember during conflict and this can make it a bit more accessible.)

I wish I was perfect. I wish these things never happened. But they do - and I hold myself accountable and work to do better. I keep going. Slip ups don’t erase the progress you’ve made.